The Surprising Correlation Between Love Languages and SBTI

True Love is Conveyed Only When the Frequencies of Love Match

After decades of couples counseling, renowned relationship psychologist Gary Chapman categorized the fundamental ways people express and feel loved into 5 'The 5 Love Languages'.

Those 5 are: 1) Words of Affirmation, 2) Acts of Service, 3) Receiving Gifts, 4) Quality Time, and 5) Physical Touch.

No matter how hard you commit and pour out your love for the other person, if your 'love language' frequencies are different, it's like passionately confessing your love in Korean when the other person only speaks French. You'll both just feel empty and exhausted. Surprisingly, this love language has a very deep and exquisite correlation with an individual's innate SBTI personality spectrum.

Matching the 5 Love Languages through Personality Indicators

1. Extroversion (E) Indicator and 'Words of Affirmation' & 'Physical Touch'

People with high Extroverted scores, who fiercely radiate energy into the external world and feel alive in interactions with others, tend to respond overwhelmingly to 'Words of Affirmation' and 'Physical Touch'. They want to confirm their presence and charm through immediate and external feedback from others.

Honest and immediate compliments like "You are absolutely the best today!" or "You don't know how reassuring it is to have you by my side," as well as holding hands tightly while walking, affectionate hugs, and physical touch quickly charge their affection battery to 100% in a second.

2. System/Reality (S/J) Indicator and 'Love in Action, Acts of Service'

People with a thoroughly realistic disposition who value immediate tasks and plans and have sky-high responsibility trust proven 'actions' rather than lip-service romantic 'words'. To them, the greatest love and romance is 'Acts of Service'.

They are not particularly moved by flashy, expensive surprise events or poetic empty words. Instead, they feel the other person's deep devotion and true love when they witness actions that practically lighten the weight and toil of their lives, such as silently doing the piled-up dishes and recycling the trash when they are exhausted from overtime, or making warm soup in the morning.

3. Introversion/Depth (I) Indicator and 'Quality Time Together'

Introverted people, who aim for relationships as deep as the Pacific Ocean with a few people rather than broad and shallow relationships, and who have a rich inner world, value 'Quality Time' like their own lives.

To them, a date is not simply going to a nice restaurant. Looking at a smartphone while eating is the worst behavior for them. Putting down all electronic devices and spending time having a deep inner conversation while looking entirely into each other's eyes, or the heavy sense of closeness of being physically and emotionally present next to each other even if reading separate books in a quiet space, is a proof of love more valuable to them than any expensive luxury gift.

Practical Application: Running a Perfect Translator for Different Languages

Suppose your primary love language is 'Acts of Service' and your lover's language is 'Words of Affirmation (compliments)'. You perfectly clean the house all weekend and even wash the car for your beloved. However, your lover might shed tears of disappointment, saying, "Why do you never tell me I'm pretty or that you love me?" From your perspective, it's enough to make you jump up and down in frustration.

This is nobody's fault. You just didn't have a translator. If you have grasped the frequency of each other's innate affection receiver through your respective SBTI dispositions, now you need to consciously train to translate and deliver your love in a language the other person can understand. For example, no matter how tired you are, you offer the single 'word' your lover wants, and your lover shows small but practical acts of 'help' for you.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)